Objective: Critique Mika Edelstann’s novel “Home at Last” –as meanly as you can!

(Parang…hehe…S&M stuff ‘to, ah. But I’m neither S or M. Just a girl who needs you to critique her work so that she can write better romance novels.)

Win! Php 1,000.00 worth of giftcards from Starbucks or Free Lunch in the homey Grille where Executive Chef Risa used to work. (She’s the girl who gave a testimony to my nonfiction ebook, I.B.A. Ka, Girl! 21 paraan para magkatotoo ang pangarap mo in 43 days.) The Grille has branches from Alabang to Pampanga so you can cozy up in the nearest branch near you.

Mechanics:

1. This contest is open to fellow Bookware My Special Valentine writers and readers who read the novel “Home at Last”.

2. Simply fill out  Baddest Critique critique’s info and  Baddest Critique critique sheet.

Your answers should be handwritten for the info sheet.

3. To join, have the handwritten info sheet scanned and send as attachment to thankyouworks@gmail.com then send your baddest critique answers in email form.

4. Contest is open to Metro Manila residents and visitors only. (Sorry, I wish there were more Starbucks or Grille branches out there. And I wish I can contact them. We don’t have them in my province either.)

5. Contest starts when the book is released in August. Deadline is on November 15, 2009.

6. Criticize the novel;  the kind that will make romance writers improve their works. The critcism that will make the common Tagalog romance novel improve its standard. (Note: I write romance, NOT literary novels so please be on the same wavelength. Romance novels have a traditional formula while literary novels come from a different frame of mind.)

7.  Winner will be announced on this blog: edelstann.wordpress.com on November 20th.

8. P.S. If you missed this contest because you went abroad or you hibernated, there will be more contests when other Mika Edelstann books get released. Just tune in for updates (parang radyo, hehe). Readers who joined previously can still join future Baddest contests.

Important! This contest is the author’s personal project. It is not a fund-raising campaign, it is not a raffle promo. No publishing house, no bookstore is connected with this initiative. You don’t even have to buy my books. That’s why I didn’t ask for receipt as proof of purchase. However, it will make Bookware, my publisher, happy if you buy our novels (hint, hint!).

Form One

(Print then answer AND make sure to have a copy for yourself. That one is important. When you win, this form will be your identification paper. Remember: your answers should be handwritten. )

Pen name used in the Critique Sheet:________________________________________________________________________

Real name: (optional but it helps)_______________________________________________________________________________

Your childhood hero:____________________________________________________________________________________

Your zodiac sign:______________________________________________________________________________________

Your Chinese zodiac sign:___________________

Would you rather…be/do/have (encircle one)

Chococolate, tea or coffee?

Mountain or ocean front?

Jeans or slacks?

Do you prefer:  _money to come regularly but in small amounts or  _money to come unexpectedly but in huge amounts?

Ford or Toyota?

Cosmopolitan Magazine or The Economist?

Shades of blue or shades of red?

Vampires or witches?

Baking or gardening?

Cotton or silk?

Eat icing before cake or eat cake before icing?

If and when you win:

Cellphone number where we can contact you if and when you win:___________________________________________

Email address where we can contact you if and when you win:______________________________________________

We both know this is a silly questionnaire, but this is an important (and fun) identification sheet. I’m serious.

Form Two

Your Pen name: _____________________

Date read:_____________________

Title:__________________________

Author:________________________

I. The Marinade

Hero:_______________________________

Person (real or fictitious) that reminds you of the hero and why:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________

Why you like the hero:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________

Why you hate him:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________

Heroine:____________________________

Person (real or fictitious) that reminds you of the heroine and why: _______________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Why you like the heroine:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________

Why you hate her:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________

The free latte (or free sisig) question: If you are to rewrite the book, what romantic scene will you add that will make the story create that ‘spark’?:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

II. The Grille

Answer the following questions, check the one closest to your answer:

1. Did the opening line catch your attention?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

2. Could you see the characters walk down the street? In other words, are they believable?

___ No. Told you she writes badly.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

3. Can you ‘hear’ good conversations in this book?

___ No! Every other paragraph is riddled with exclamation marks! Stop it!!!

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

4. Was the novel’s flow interesting, with twists that you didn’t expect?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

5. Did you feel that the book kept your attention?

___ No. It’s a boring stream of consciousness. Is she trying to imitate G. Garcia-Marquez?

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

6. About details of time period and location. Were they credible? Accurately described?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

7. Were the intimate/romantic scenes fresh? Did they have that kilig factor?

___ Nope, not at all.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

8. Did the novel have a satisfying ending?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

Further Comments:

Write about other stuff you noticed–such as how you liked the writing style, what the author did that you want to avoid if you are going to write a novel yourself, and your favorite scenes.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

I appreciate your answers. Thank you.

Cheers to the baddest,

–Mika Edelstann

(Print then answer AND make sure to have a copy for yourself. That one is important. When you win, this form will be your identification paper. Remember: your answers should be handwritten.  )

Pen name used in the Critique Sheet:________________________________________________________________________

Real name: (optional but it helps)_______________________________________________________________________________

Your childhood hero:____________________________________________________________________________________

Your zodiac sign:______________________________________________________________________________________

Your Chinese zodiac sign:___________________

Would you rather…be/do/have (encircle one) 

Chococolate, tea or coffee?

Mountain or ocean front?

Jeans or slacks?

Do you prefer:  _money to come regularly but in small amounts or  _money to come unexpectedly but in huge amounts?

Ford or Toyota?

Cosmopolitan Magazine or The Economist?

Shades of blue or shades of red?

Vampires or witches?

Baking or gardening?

Cotton or silk?

Eat icing before cake or eat cake before icing?

If and when you win:

Cellphone number where we can contact you if and when you win:___________________________________________

Email address where we can contact you if and when you win:______________________________________________ 

We both know this is a silly questionnaire, but this is an important (and fun) identification sheet. I’m serious.

Date read:_____________________

Title:__________________________

Author:________________________

I. The Marinade

Hero:_______________________________

Person (real or fictitious) that reminds you of the hero and why:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________

Why you like the hero:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________

Why you hate him:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________

Heroine:____________________________

Person (real or fictitious) that reminds you of the heroine and why: _______________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Why you like the heroine:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________

Why you hate her:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________

The free latte (or free sisig) question: If you are to rewrite the book, what romantic scene will you add that will make the story create that ‘spark’?:_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

II. The Grille

Answer the following questions, check the one closest to your answer:

1. Did the opening line catch your attention?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

2. Could you see the characters walk down the street? In other words, are they believable?

___ No. Told you she writes badly.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

3. Can you ‘hear’ good conversations in this book?

___ No! Every other paragraph is riddled with exclamation marks! Stop it!!!

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

4. Was the novel’s flow interesting, with twists that you didn’t expect?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

5. Did you feel that the book kept your attention?

___ No. It’s a boring stream of consciousness. Is she trying to imitate G. Garcia-Marquez?

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

6. About details of time period and location. Were they credible? Accurately described?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

7. Were the intimate/romantic scenes fresh? Did they have that kilig factor?

___ Nope, not at all.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

8. Did the novel have a satisfying ending?

___ Naah.

___ She (Mika) can do better than that corny stuff she wrote.

___ So-so. Real life is more interesting.

___ Yes, I see dim potential here. And don’t let this get into your head, Mika. I said, dim potential.

___ Yup. You have my priceless yes. Now if you want to keep your job as writer, attend a romance writer’s conference.

Further Comments:

Write about other stuff you noticed–such as how you liked the writing style, what the author did that you want to avoid if you are going to write a novel yourself, and your favorite scenes.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

I appreciate your answers. Thank you.

Cheers to the baddest,

–Mika Edelstann

I feel that this is just the beginning of a journey…

My feeling in images today-same as above, just felt in a new way.

My feelings in images today:

Being thankful has its own power. Try a dose gratitude today.

Blame this guy for that idea: . Grandfather Lao tzu. “When you have everything and therefore lack nothing, the whole world belongs to you,” he says.

“Gotta have it!” we say. Or surprisingly,

“No thank you, I DON’T want those. they’re flashy. They’re expensive symbols of the materialistic mind.”

Yeah. Go on.

I went to MOA to have a casual dinner with two captains: one US Army captain who’s been to where the wild wars were, and one lovely Phil. Air Force captain. Yup, he’s a she. and I’m not talking about the third sex, geez. And when in MOA, you want to play with fire and burn your pockets.

What’s the connection? That freedom from passionate likes and dislikes again. Because it feels good to be free of that “gotta have it!” yearning. It also feels good to be free of that “I-hate-it” drama. Hard to do. I’m a newbie. (Yup, I came, I saw, I bought something!)